Sunday, September 28, 2008

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Last night's debate

So who won? It doesn't matter. McCain won just by showing up and Obama won since people have spent six months talking about how he is an incompetent punk so all he had to do was not hurl his feces at the moderator and he would be fine. So they both won. Ain't that nice?

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Wall street never had a chance with me

Many, many, many and oh did I say many years ago, I had an interview with a headhunter who was looking to "groom" investment bankers. Now, this was a surprise, since investment banking is not something you interview for- rather, investment banking, much like the Republican party, is something you have to be born into. The interview went well, except for one hitch: Nobody could tell me what investment banking actually is. See, there are banks. These are the places where you keep your money. Then there are investment houses, where you hope to put your money to work. (Your odds are better than at a casino. Sometimes.) But what the fuck is an investment bank or an investment banker? My feeble mind couldn't quite grasp it. All I knew was that I would be paid up the nose (and not in coke), work 130 hours a week, buy new undies because I wouldn't have the time to wash the old ones and make pie charts. Lots and lots of pie charts. In Excel. All day, every day. Monday through Saturday, sometimes Sunday. Oh, and because this was back when the U.S. was a capitalist country, I could be fired/laid off/shitcanned any second. Sounded like a great way to spend the flower of my youth, but sadly it fell through because recruiters generally have morals that resemble canine fecal matter.
But just think. If I played my cards right, I could be unemployed RIGHT NOW.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Why Democrats never win anything

Because they don't have the imagery (two guys drinking coffee in anytown, USA) and don't have the ability to demagogue so effortlessly. "Boulder Liberal" is a great catchphrase. Vapid but great. (Sure it writes off 1/3rd of the state but meh...)

Saturday, September 6, 2008

What's the reward for winning a pie eating contest?

More pie.
What's the reward for a great audition? A callback.
On another note, more confirmation that the religious can be as scuzzy as the rest of us: no, insulting me won't make me more likely to wire you 40 grand for a property I have never seen before.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008


Back in my Harlem days, my stoop sitting neighbor Edward encouraged me to 1) be an actor/stand up comic in L.A. and 2) give up on relationships and go for hookers instead. 1) is a modified success right now because I just wrapped up an audition for Birthright Israel's monologues project here in NY. It went well, or so I thought. As for 2).....lemme snooze on that one.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Super duper busy

I'm stating at the City U of NY on Tuesday as a "non matriculating" Ph.D. student. The idea is that if I wow them, I'll get admitted in the spring, hopefully under a research grant. I also put together a website for a friend, and spent my spare time pounding the pavements of NYC. If nothing else, being here does wonders for my social life.