Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Continuing on the theme of absence

Specifically, my absence from the southland. My grandmother died on February 29. Today is the first day i could even think that thought without crying but it still makes me nauseous. There was of course a wonderful Woman who has helped me through it all. The crying, the sickness, the impulse to self destruct. I will never forget it. Still, I simply could not spend spring break in Louisiana´s patented isolation booth. Could not. So instead, I took up the offer of a friend here in Mexico City. Yes, Mex City, D.F., the so called navel of the world.

Actually, I am staying in a tragically unhip urban wasteland called Toluca, where New Jersey´s refineries, Arizona´s desert landscape and El Paso´s barrio feel meet. I do however spend much time in D.F., indulging in creature comforts like art exhibits and Indian grub. So yay!

More to come post yayness.

Friday, March 7, 2008

As always, Japan leads into the apocalypse

I just blogged about being ensconed in a virtual world with virtual kids and virtual nookie. And doing all this only because I'm a hypocrite- or rather, virtually virtuous. But now you can read about some very real consequences of virtual living in the deliciously title When freaky-deaky equals hara-kiri an article which discusses how Japanese men are averse to real sex and prefer electronic and uh....manual stimulation. The money quote has got to be "Self-pleasure is a hell of a lot less demanding than trying to please somebody else", which is most definitely NOT a uniquely Japanese idea. Never fear for Japanese men tho, since, we are assured that "Some of the masturbation aids coming out nowadays are absolutely incredible."

And what might some of these masturbation aids be? I'm off to a (real) meal with (real) people so I guess I'll just leave you guys hanging until my next post.

Really, this virtual nonsense has to stop

I'm a hypocrite. I'm a hypocrite because I blog. Because I'm on facebook. And have dormant profiles on friendster and myspace and linkedin. And yet, hypocrite or not, I am here to say that this virtual crap has to end.

Facebook, which I joined because speaking to someone in person is considered taboo on campus, has a new "socially conscious" campaign where you- yes, you- and I could become "virtual parents" to any one (or two or three) of thirteen million orphans out there. And by virtual parents, I mean give money to them.

This initiative, spear-headed by our very own Fearless Leader, the man who puts the G in G.W., a/k/a he-who-must-not-be-named, wishes to "save 13 million orphans lives and get 25 million HIV/AIDS sufferers treated to reverse the pandemic." Noble of course and this is where you can be a virtual parent. I am sure the the internet-savvy youngsters of rural Chad will be heartened to know that 4,000 miles away, in the comfort of your own home, you too care about them.

Of course this is just an update of those old Sally Struthers come ons- you know the ones where she speaks over photos of African babies without actually spending time around said babies- and how you too can "monitor the progress" of your "virtual orphan."

Now, on the one hand I'm totally in favor of helping orphans, African or otherwise. On the other hand, this is just another way to pretend to "care". You send out ten bucks and tell everyone how you're a virtual parent. Oh well. I suppose that after virtual sex, virtual kids are the next step.